I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
