aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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