For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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