Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize