ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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