I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My ATM looks so different sober.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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