Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
