I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
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i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
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the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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