Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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