honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize