Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
