I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
