Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
