$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
