nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
