My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
