guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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