stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
