I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She announced her abortion via fbk
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
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I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
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She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.