i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.