so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers