I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
