YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
