i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
