Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
