there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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