dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
