Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize