There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Two words: blizzard sex
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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