That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
