sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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