i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
