Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
