why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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