I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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