I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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