sorry about calling you the devil all night.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
