I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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