i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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