that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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