so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The uberlube is also flammable
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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