Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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