I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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