My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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