I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
