How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The power of my boobs compel you
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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