is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
