I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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