I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
