beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize