I didn't shave. On purpose
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize