i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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