she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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