i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
