Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
