How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
